February 2012
22 posts
operator: 911, please hold.
me: stop murdering me for a sec; we're on hold.
murderer: ok
me: wow i finally understand math
moves on to next question
me: what the hell is this
Teacher: A long time ago people thought there were only four elements. Can anyone guess what they were?
Me: Water. Earth. Fire. Air. Long ago, the four nations lived together in harmony. Then everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked. Only the Avatar, master of all four elements, could stop them, but when the world needed him most, he vanished.
Teacher:
Me:
teacher: what?
Me: what?
Teacher: Please write down a famous quote that you know and who wrote it.
Me: "It does not matter how slow you go so long as you do not stop." - Confucius.
person 1: You are really fat...
person 2: It runs in the family
person 1: Nobody runs in your family..
January 2012
24 posts
12th graders: ew 11th graders
11th graders: ew 10th graders
10th graders: ew 9th graders
9th graders: ew middle schoolers
middle schoolers: ew elementary kids
elementary kids: ew babies
babies: ew fetus
fetus: ew wait how am i talking
SCHOOL:
In class: 1+1=2
Exercises: 1+2+1=4
Test: John buy 4 oranges. He eats one and gives another to Ted. Calculate the sun's mass.
elementary school: I went to bed at 10
everyone: omg thats so cool
middle school: I went to bed at 10
everyone: wow loser
high school: I went to bed at 10
everyone: omg luckyyyy
college: I went to bed at 10
everyone: is that even possible
1 tag
Me: I think I'm gonna go to sleep now.
TV: lol but good shows are on.
iPod: sleep? Is that a new app?
Sleeping position: lol I'm not gonna be comfortable.
Mind: what's the meaning of life though?
Temperature: lol it's too hot and too cold.
Noises: oh, you said be louder? Okay.
Body: Lol time for itches.
Person I like: Hey
Police Officer: How high are you?
Me: No no no officer, it's hi how are you
Cashier: "Is that everything?"
Me: Uhh, no, I'd also like all this invisible shit right here.
walking into a white girl at school
me: sorry
her: omg it's ok don't worry things happen
walking into a black girl at school
me: sorry
her: BITCH WHAT THE FUCK WATCH WHERE THE FUCK YOU'RE GOING I WENT THROUGH FUCKIN SLAVERY I DON'T DESERVE THIS SHIT FUCKIN WHITE PEOPLE WHAT THE FUCK BITCH HOE NIGGA
What if? Just a thought.
eurekaisthebest:
Just a thought. When I met you, you were kinda the same as of now. So, what if we started all over? Would you notice me again and fall for me once more? Would your perspective of our past relationship differ from a new one if we ever started over again? What if we started off as friends again, chatting through facebook, then texting , then on the phone late at night while losing...
A letter to the signs:
Aries: Stop talking so much, no one cares.
Taurus: Stop being so cautious about everything, it's a turn off.
Gemini: Stop acting like you know about everything, you don't.
Cancer: Stop letting people walk all over you, you're more than that.
Leo: Stop craving the attention you know you can't have, it's annoying.
Virgo: Stop being such a homebody, go out and have fun.
Libra: Stop being so indecisive, it's gone on far too long.
Scorpio: Stop being so mean to people that love you the most.
Sagittarius: Stop searching for lover and lover, let them come to you.
Capricorn: Stop working so hard for just one day and learn to forgive.
Aquarius: Stop being so cold towards people's feelings, please.
Pisces: Stop worrying yourself and crying over tiny little things, don't let them see you like that.
December 2011
98 posts
Parents have so much to say when you get in...
